Monday, February 27, 2012
Lindsay Lohan is gonna try to revive her downward spiraling career by hosting Saturday Night live this Saturday night ( march 3rd). Lindsay has told the producers of SNL that she is totally willing to make fun of herself to show people that she is "in on the joke" and that "no topic is off limits." I for one, am looking forward to watching this "train wreck in the making" because just like when my herpes resurfaces every couple years and tries to make a valiant comeback...I just cant wait to pick the shit out of it.
Angelina Jolie was a presenter at last nights Academy awards and she was so fucking skinny that she looked like an extra from Schindler's list. Wtf happened to her? Maybe she got sick of all the people in those 3rd world countries that she adopts her kids from referring to her as " the fat American lady." She looks so scary that I was half expecting Sigourney Weaver to show up on stage with one of those exoskeleton robot suits from Aliens and start fighting her.
Mammoth sized actress- Octavia Spencer won an Oscar on Sunday night for "best supporting actress" for her performance in "The Help." And in a related story-The stage she received her award on has already been nominated for an Oscar for next years Academy Awards for "best supporting flooring."
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Lindsay Lohan was in court again yesterday and surprisingly..everything went just great for her. Judge Stephanie Sautner praised Lindsay for all the hard work she's done and also said that the actress seems to be getting her life "back on track." Many in the media are speculating that judge Sautner's new optimistic view of Lindsay is soley due to the handy work of her her newly appointed defense attorney...Obi wan kenobi.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
http://www.tmz.com/ . I was gonna watch it, but I really don't need to give god another reason to be disappointed in me. Him and I have enough problems as it is. I'm already gonna have a hard enough time explaining this...
Friday, February 17, 2012
Charlie Sheen is my new hero. He did a phone interview yesterday with TMZ live where he said "I'm tired of lying...I'm tired of pretending the show(Two and a half men) doesn't suck. I'm tired of pretending that Ashton doesn't suck." I wanted to kiss Charlie when he said that because as you know... I fucking despise Ashton Kutcher and Charlie Sheen is right..Two and a half men is fucking terrible now. Let me see..how can I describe how bad it is? Here's a good analogy: Remember that movie Pet cemetery when that little kids cat got hit by a truck but the kids father was afraid to tell him that his cat was dead so he decided to bury it in the pet cemetery and then the cat comes back to life and shows up the next day and everybody is happy at first, but then the cat starts acting like a suicidal billionaire that can't act worth shit and then everyone ends up hating the cat?. Kinda like that.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Chelsea Handler went on Rosie O'Donnell's talk show the other day and Rosie revealed to Chelsea that she has a fear of "little people" which the two went on to discuss for a few minutes in an extremely offensive manner. First Rosie said that she cant wrap her head around the fact that "little people" are actually adult people with little bodies and that she gets anxiety ridden whenever she is around them. Then Chelsea says that she loves little people because they are "so cute" and all she wants to do is "tackle them" and that she sees them as "child-like". Leah Smith, A spokesperson for the organization LPA(Little people of America) said that "Rosie's and Chelsea's views are both equally offensive, but in different way's." Smith also stated that she herself had "tried to reach" Rosie and Chelsea to vent her disappointment on behalf of the organization, but unfortunately for Smith...her arms were too short and stubby to be able to grab either womans throat.
So it's been a few days since Whitney Houston was found dead in a hotel bathtub from an apparent drug-overdose and I haven't seen any of the major news organizations ask the single most obvious question, and that is- WHERE THE FUCK WAS THIS GUY???!!...
Friday, February 10, 2012
TMZ is reporting today that Michael Lohan has applied for a job at a local Palm beach Burger King after being released from a treatment facility there. Lohan's treatment councilers reportedly recommended that he get a job to help pass the time while he's recovering. If Lohan does get hired by Burger King, he will instantly gain the status as being the 2nd creepiest guy in history to ever be on Burger King's payroll.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
Elton Johns husband-David Furnish told TMZ that there's "no way in hell that they're gonna watch the Superbowl half-time show" presumably because Madonna is performing. If you remember, David called Madonna a "desperate" narcissist after she beat-out Elton for a Golden globe for "best song" a few weeks ago. Man, I cant believe that they're not gonna watch the Superbowl!! I mean what the hell else are a couple of guys gonna possibly do on Superbowl Sunday??
Here's a pic that 23- year old pop singer Rhianna tweeted to her fans last Thursday while at a photo shoot for the next cover of "Elle" magazine. This chick is falling apart at hyper-speed. A year or two ago if you slept with her, you would probably wake up the next morning feeling really great about yourself and would be whistling all day long. Now if you slept with her, you would wake up the next morning having a panic attack and call in "sick" to work. Then the rest of your day would be spent scaring the shit out of yourself searching various std symptoms on http://www.webmd.com/.
- Lindsay Lohan is hosting SNL.
- Angelina Jolie is "scary skinny."
- "Big" Oscar winner.
- Lindsay Lohan is not the whore you're looking for....
- Rhianna is officially a moron.
- Miley Cyrus really is that dumb.
- Rhianna turned 24 today!!!
- Shovel ready job.
- Chris Brown: pick-up artist.
- Charlie sheen is winning!! (my heart).
- Rosie O'Donnel and Chelsea Handler are a "little o...
- Whitney Houston is still dead.
- Leann Rimes and Eddie Cibrian won't stop showing u...
- Hilary Puff.
- Mike Sorrentino has gotten himself into a gay situ...
- Michael Lohan wants to Hold the pickle.
- Arnold and Stallone are making me depressed.
- Miley Cyrus wants to know if you're looking for a ...
- Rhianna may be getting back together with Chris br...
- Ashton Kutcher Turned 34 yesterday...unfortunatlel...
- Justin Bieber is soooo frickin' funny!
- Lean Rimes is recovering from mouth surgery.
- Madonna killed during Superbowl half-time Performa...
- Kim kardashian is done dating football players.
- NEWS FLASH: Elton John and David Furnish hate Mado...
- Rhianna looks "itchy."
- Just in case you didn't hate Madonna enough alread...
- Sarah Jessica Parker is "wigging" me out.
- Amanda Seyfried has gotten herself into a "hairy" ...
- Lindsay is dating Dennis Hoppers son...maybe.
- Paula Abdul was shit-canned from the X-factor.
- Beyonce' is getting "stoned."
- Snooki might be pregnant.
- Candice Swanepoel likes "bukakee.''
- New James Bond film " Skyfall " pic!
- ▼ February (35)